A Lesson Re-Learned

I have never been one of those people who learns a lesson the first time. Just ask my parents. Or my husband. Or anyone who has known me closely. I'm one of those who learns something, swears to change her ways, then a short while later tries to temp fate to see if things have changed and that lesson no longer applies. It's never too long before I end up at the same place I started, learning the lesson all over again. 

This is a very bad practice.

Well, this week I had the opportunity to re-learn one of my very favorite lessons. Before I tell you about it, I have a confession to make: I am not a playful mom. That is, I love to play, as long as I am choosing the activity. When it comes to playing toys and games and dolls with my children, I'm great at convincing myself that I have far more pressing things to attend to. Like the dishes. Or changing a diaper. Or, um, Facebook. There, I said it. 

So, back to my lesson. This past Wednesday, God gave us a rare gift.  In the middle of the summer in Texas, we awoke to overcast skies, dark clouds, and glorious, glorious rain. I declared it a rain day, cleared our schedule, and vowed to spend the day inside. Then, by some stroke of inspiration, I decided to take it one step further. Not only would we stay inside, but I would allow the kids to make a list of all the fun things they wanted to do, and we would do them.  Every. Single. One. Whew.  I mentally prepared myself for a day of hard mommy work, patience, self sacrifice, etc.

And then we began. First on the list was making Auntie Sydney’s delicious sugar cookies.  I relinquished control and let the girls dump every ingredient, crack every egg, and mix it all together. I let them eat cookie dough. While the dough refrigerated, we made the greatest blanket fort of all time, complete with 10 chairs, 13 blankets, 4 pillows, and 2 tension rods that we borrowed from the shower and closet.  (Never mind the fact that we have not one but TWO awesome play tents readily available, let's take apart the closet!). We made a MESS. When the fort was ready, we rolled dough, cut cookies (using a billion different cookie cutters, of course), put them in the oven, then settled in for a few games of UNO in our beautiful fortress.  After UNO it was Candyland, cookies, reading stories, silly pictures and giggles, nail painting, and finally a movie in the fort for the win. 

At the end of the day, we cleaned up (OK mostly I cleaned up), I made dinner, David came home, and the evening played out as usual. And I realized to my dismay that I was not one bit more tired than I would have been any other day! If anything, I had more mental energy because we skipped the usual arguments, power struggles, sibling rivalry, etc. that tend to happen when I’m trying to all those many more important things I usually spend so much time doing. And the kicker?  The house was not any less clean, the diapers all got changed, and Facebook and I survived without each other. Huh.

But the connection I made with my kids that day, that's worth its weight in gold. Since that day I've noticed my absolute Daddy's girl of a three-year-old spontaneously throwing her arms around me and telling me she loves me. (This is usually reserved solely for Dad.) I've noticed Paisley opening up to me and sharing her feelings just a little more. She's been kinder and sweeter and softer.

And mostly, I'm feeling a big shift in perspective on my part. What are my priorities?  Where is my mind and my heart throughout the day?  How many moments am I willing to trade for things far less consequential than connecting with and building up these sweet little souls? This is the very essence of motherhood, and if there's anything more important then perhaps I'm missing the point entirely...  

As I said, this is a repeat lesson, a patient and loving Father teaches me over and over again. I just pray that each time I learn it, something within my core changes for good.  Or at least enough to carry through till next time.